20140610

I often wonder

What my life with be like before I had MS. I'm not sure when the MS happened, nor can I ever be sure, but looking back I can see a lot of indicators through my life. If I had to guess, the affliction started in high school, sometime around junior year. That is when things started to fall apart. My marks in school were declining, but that could just be attributed to nearing the end of my high school career. There were days at football practice it was just a huge feat to make it through the day, which I did everyday of my career but one. I finally had to take a day off due to exhaustion. I faked a groin injury so that I could sit out a day of practice. Being trapped in shoulder pads and a helmet finally got to me. I had to take a break. I felt terrible about it too.

In fact, there are a lot of things in my life which made me feel terrible. I can now chalk them up to the MS. But imagine how I felt when I didn't even know what was MS. I constantly felt like I was somehow letting the laziness get to me. Well this thought was nice, but the kids can't let me complete a thought. Imagine that. A life with MS and kids who won't let you even think.

Seriously #FML, I'm going to listen to some NIN or RATM and self-loathe. That's about all the enjoyment I get out of this life anyway.

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